What If
by Curio Sity Love
Summary: I looked away from the fire into dark eyes that were just as warm. He was young, maybe only fifteen, and his dark copper skin, high cheekbones and long black hair pulled back at his neck seemed familiar.He started to talk:“Would it be okay if I sat down?”
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this is twilight in an alternate reality. Pretty much everything is the same, only Bella is different. Bella doesn't really get people, or really want to. In my version, she's not into Edward, or any other guy, until she meets Jacob. I'm usually a Bella/Edward kinda girl, but I've always wondered what it would be like if she gave Jacob the time of day. So here it is! R&R, constructive criticism appreciated, but no burning just for the heck of it-it doesn't help my self esteem! 

Chapter 1 - Meeting 

"Bella!"

I snapped back into reality, forcing myself to focus on the conversation going on around me. "Wha-oh sorry Mike, I guess I kind of drifted off…what were you saying?" I felt slightly guilty for not paying attention to him, after all, he had been especially nice to me. Although, I had the feeling Mike wanted something more from the friendship, and really, I wasn't at all interested. I mean, he wasn't bad looking, but he had a round, babyish face; he looked so young, and judging by the carefully gelled spikes on his head, he spent way more time on his hair than probably any of the girls at the school. He was way too shallow.

"Well, I was just saying how the beach'll be fun, you'll be there, right?"

"Right, of course. Umm…how are we getting there?"

"We're meeting at our shop, you know where it is, right?"

"Yeah, just north of town, isn't it?"

"Yeah, so then we're driving down to First Beach in my car"

I didn't really know what to say. It sounded alright, after all, I'd loved going down to La Push as a kid, when I was down in Forks for the summer. And I supposed it was good of Mike to invite me, being new and all, but it was uncomfortable, being with these people who I didn't know, and I had the feeling that some of them didn't like me, Lauren in particular. Plus, I wasn't sure how well I liked them, and to top it all off, with my luck, I'd end up tripping and falling in the water.

"Cool." I tried to seem more enthusiastic and plastered a smile on my face. Mike didn't notice the unenthusiastic smile, and he grinned back and told me that I could sit next to him on the drive. The way he said it made it seem as if sitting next to him was a privilege I should feel honoured to have been given. Yep. Now I _really_ wasn't interested. _Oh well done Mike_. Now Jessica was glaring daggers at me. She must like Mike. Just what I needed, an enemy, when I'd only been here a few weeks. But it wasn't very fair of Jessica to be looking at me like that. If anything, she should be mad at Mike! It's not as if I was even remotely interested in him. But I didn't know what to do about Mike. He seemed to take just polite comments as encouragement, and I wasn't used to having boys follow me around, and I had no idea how to put him in his place without hurting his feelings. I mean I didn't like him that much, but he had been nice to me, so I didn't want to be harsh. Maybe if I just stayed distant, he'd get the message and drop it. I smiled and nodded, closing the conversation.

I pulled my truck into the parking lot of Newton's Olympic Outfitters. As I looked up, I saw Mike, Jessica, Lauren and another girl who I didn't know. I already knew that Lauren didn't like me, although I wasn't entirely sure why, and I realised that the unfamiliar girl was one who I'd unintentionally harmed when I got the basketball last week during gym. Mike was eyeing me in a way I definitely didn't like; I uncomfortably adjusted the hem of my blouse, and Jessica, noticing Mike's look, turned to stare at me like I was something she'd just scraped off her shoe. _Great_, I said to myself. _This isn't going to be awkward at all_. I waited in silence until a few others arrived, most of whom I did not know. I did recognize Angela though, a shy girl who I'd met before and seemed quite nice. When we all clambered into Mike's overcrowded car, I breathed a sigh of relief.

With the unnecessarily loud music playing, and the unnecessarily loud conversations of the people around me, I was under no pressure to talk. I watched the green scenery slide past the window and thought about my decision to move to Forks. It wasn't so bad here, I mean, I missed my mum like crazy, but I could deal with that because I knew that coming here was making her happy. And I didn't really have any friends here, but again, I could cope with that, because I didn't have any friends in Phoenix, either. I don't think I've ever had any friends. Growing up, my best friend had been my mum, Renee. I guess I had just never related to people my age. In Phoenix, no-one had ever liked me, and I really didn't fit in. I never knew what to say to people, and I was never into the things everyone else was.

Here in Forks, there was almost no change. I still didn't get people, and I was still hopeless at conversation and as awkward as you could be. I still kept to myself and stayed quiet most of the time. I supposed that if I really tried, I could get close to the people here, but I don't think that I wanted to. Most people held nothing of interest for me. The only thing different here in Forks was the guys. In Forks, some guys actually liked me, but I was just not interested in them. Guys like Mike could be nice, but were mostly shallow and irritating. And then there were guys like that Cullen in my biology class. He was strange. On my first day, he was scary. He looked at me like he hated me and would do God knows what to me. Then he wasn't at school for ages, and then, a few days ago, he talks to me, polite as anything, and sprints from the room at the end of the lesson. I could see that he was good looking, and from what I had heard, most of the girls at Forks high were in love with him. I figured that would make him arrogant, and that was an annoying trait. As well as that, he was inconsistent. I couldn't tell when he would talk to me, and be nice, or when he would hate me. I couldn't stand inconsistent people; they always deserted you when you needed them. So I ignored him.

I just don't get guys, and they really don't seem to get me. I wondered if I'd ever find a guy who I wouldn't fault, someone who would be interesting, and nice, and always there for me, and who would care about me. I laughed to myself. _My God Bella, pull your head out of the clouds! Guys like that don't exist! And even if they did, no guy that good is ever going to want you!_ I sighed. It was probably true. But still, I couldn't help but wonder.

"Hello?? Earth to Bella? We're here. Come on, lets go!" I jumped. Everyone else was standing outside Mike's Suburban, waiting for me. I blushed and jumped out of the car, catching my foot on the door and stumbling. _Crap. Graceful, Bella. _I blushed even deeper, hoping no-one would mention my clumsiness. I heard Lauren's scornful laugh in the background, and knew it was directed at me. People started to head down to the beach at her insistence then, and I took off after them, careful to not trip over again. I looked around, taking in my surroundings. First Beach was just as I had always remembered it. There was the choppy water, the towering cliffs and rocks. I remembered the tide pools that I used to love watching as a child. There was so much life and colour in such a tiny place. There was the sand, strewn with driftwood and a rainbow of pebbles, ranging in colour from red to yellow to a steel blue. And bordering it all was the deep green of the forest. It was a beautiful place. We reached a ring of driftwood logs where a fire circle was already in place. I sat down on one of the bone coloured benches with the girls I didn't know chatting animatedly on either side of me. I heard Mike starting to talk.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?" he asked. It was then I noticed the tepee shaped construction of wood he and another two boys had been building.

"No." He added some more wood to the pile and lit a match.

"You'll like this then – watch the colours". I did as I was told and looked up at the small fire licking the wood. _Oh! _The flames were blue. I watched with more interest now, as the strange blue and green flames hungrily devoured the wood, stretching up to the sky. I heard Mike saying that it was because of the salt, but then I stopped listening, I was captivated by the bonfire. I stayed like that for a long time, just watching the fire grow larger and larger, feeling the heat against my face and arms. I was only vaguely aware of more people joining the group. I focused back on the fire, dancing, just in front of me. "_Amazing_" I whispered to myself. "I know" said a low, husky voice beside me.

I looked away from the fire into dark eyes that were just as warm. My eyes moved over the newcomers face. He was young, definitely, maybe only fifteen, and his dark copper skin, high cheekbones and long black hair pulled back at his neck seemed familiar. He started to talk. "Would it be okay if I sat down?". I turned away quickly, to check if this was okay with everyone else, and was surprised to see that everyone else had left. He chuckled at the expression on my face. It was a nice sound. I sat for a moment, thinking about it, before I was startled out of my thoughts. "Well…?" he said. I was confused, before I remembered he has asked me a question. "Oh! Um, yeah, of-of course" I blushed. _You are such an idiot, Bella! _ I moved over to make room for him, quickly, to make up for my slowness before. In a classic Bella moment, I got tangled up in the bench and lurched forwards. The boy grabbed me around the waist to stop me from head butting the seat. "Sorry" I muttered. I turned, if possible even redder. _Oh My God, could this be anymore embarrassing?_ I don't think I'd ever blushed that much. He just roared with laughter. When his laughter had subsided, I glared at him. "It's rude to laugh at people, you know" I told him.

"Yes, but its funny to fall over on nothing." He said, cracking a grin. I shoved him, before introducing myself, eager to steer the conversation away from my clumsiness. "I'm Bella". I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to this boy.

"Yeah, you're Charlie's daughter, right?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Oh, right. You probably don't remember me, I'm Billy Black's son. Our dads used to go fishing together. I'm Jacob"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – A Friend 

I know that some stuff is out of order, and things are a little bit different, but its ALTERNATE REALITY! I did it like this cause it works better. But its likely I've also made a few mistakes, so I apologise beforehand. Here we go, Chapter 2.

"_I'm Bella". I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to this boy. _

"_Yeah, you're Charlie's daughter, right?"_

"_Yeah, how did you know?"_

"Oh, right. You probably don't remember me, I'm Billy Black's son. Our dads used to go fishing together. I'm Jacob"

Memories came flooding back. Hanging around on the beach with Rachel and Rebecca, Jacob's sisters. Well not so much hanging around, as watching them play and counting down the minutes until Charlie came back from fishing to take me back to the house. They were older than me, and already so close as sisters, leaving me feeling like a third wheel when I was with them, so I'd never gotten that close to them. Thankfully, I put a stop to these excursions quite quickly, so I hadn't been subjected to that particular form of awkward torture in a long time. I couldn't remember much about Jacob though; I suppose I never saw him because of the age difference.

"Jacob." I tried out his name and decided that I quite liked the sound of it. "How are Rachel and Rebecca? Are they here?"

"No, Rachel got a scholarship to Washington State, and Rebecca married a Samoan surfer – she lives in Hawaii now."

"Wow." Married. "Hows Billy doing?"

"Pretty good, aside from the whole being in a wheelchair thing. But, even that has its benefits. I've gotta thank you for taking the truck, I don't think I could stand to drive that thing." He laughed. "How are you liking it?"

"I love it." This seemed to throw Jacob. I grinned, before trying to explain why I loved such a well…not…good car. "Its…well, its not beautiful, I'll give you that, but it has…a certain charm…" He snorted at my phrasing. "And, it's virtually indestructible, which is a _big_ plus for me"

"Yeah that things like a tank!" Gesturing to his tall frame, he said, "And don't worry, I'm a total klutz too, no need to be embarrassed." He grimaced. I had to laugh at that.

As we laughed, I noticed the way his copper skin gleamed in the sunlight. Red and brown shone across his arms and face, changing and flickering with each movement he made. I noticed too, the way his dark eyes sparkled when he laughed, and the way his black hair threw off rainbows in the sun. Jacob was beautiful. "Bella? What are you smiling at?"

_Bella get back to reality! _"…huh?" I winced at my far-from-eloquent response.

Jacob just started to laugh again. "You had the goofiest smile on your face just now."

All I could do was mumble incoherently until Jacob's chuckles subsided.

"Are we all done laughing at me?"

"For now."

"So…" I cast around for another topic of discussion. "Hows…school?"

"That's the best you can come up with? School?"

"It was a good question!"

"Sure, sure. Schools fine. Just a few more years and I'll never have to go there again!" He seemed positively ecstatic at the prospect.

"You take such a serious attitude to your studies, Jake, I'm impressed." Oh. Did I just call him Jake?

"Jake? Where did that come from?" Yes, I did just call him Jake. I've given him a nickname less than five minutes after meeting him. "It just … slipped out. If you don't like it, I'll try not to do it again." He smiled. "No, don't worry! Its what everyone calls me! So, I am Jake, and as I was saying, school is not my thing. I prefer to do things with my hands. I reckon I'll be a mechanic when I'm older."

"Mechanic, huh? Are you any good?"

"If I do say so myself." He gave a short laugh before continuing on proudly, "I'm building a car right now, actually. A Volkswagon Rabbit. Just one more piece and I'm done!"

"You're building a car?" I was impressed.

"Yup." A far away look came onto his face, it seemed as though he was daydreaming about his car. "Do you want to come and see it?"

I thought about it. I really did like hanging out with Jacob, he was funny, and nice, and I did want to see the car, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to just go off to his house. What if everyone else came back and I was gone? Would they worry? Probably not. More likely, they'd forget about me and leave me stranded. "Uh… Jake –"

"Bella!"

I started at the sound of my name. Turning around, I saw Mike jogging up the beach towards Jacob and I, followed by almost everyone else. I must not have looked very happy at the sight of Mike, because Jacob looked concerned and asked me what was wrong. "Oh nothing, just…" I trailed off.

"Hey, Bella! Bella! Who's this?" Mike had reached us and was now staring at Jacob with nothing short of immense dislike. "This is Jacob. Jacob, Mike. Mike, Jacob. Jake and I are…old friends." I gave Jacob a small smile. Mike noticed this and seemed to stiffen. "Yeah, well, we'd better get going. So, hurry up." He stalked off.

"Who was Mr. Sunshine?" asked Jacob, gesturing over his shoulder to the retreating form of Mike.

"No-one"

Again, Jacob picked up on my discomfort, but he interpreted my annoyance and embarrassment at Mike's actions as something else. "Bella…he isn't your…boyfriend, is he?"

Mike! You have got to be kidding me! Of course, this conversation was far too awkward and I was far too nervous to just say that. Unable to scoff and be confident, I blushed and told Jacob quietly that no, Mike was not my boyfriend.

"But if he isn't your boyfriend then why are you blushing?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"Because I'm embarrassed."

"So he is your boyfriend then"

"No! I…don't…" I squirmed uncomfortably, willing Jacob to understand and spare me the humiliation of telling him that up until a few weeks ago, _no_ guy had ever been interested in me, with good reason, and so of course I wouldn't have a boyfriend.

"You don't what, Bella?"

"I…don't date." I turned my face away from him for a moment, so he wouldn't see how red it was.

"Oh." He sounded slightly put out by that. I wondered why. But then he laughed. "So, I guess I should get rid of the chocolate and flowers I have hidden behind my back then?" I laughed too, glad that the awkwardness was over. I really did like Jake, he didn't seem to mind my absolute lack of social skills, and he was too happy and smiling for me to stay in a bad mood for long around him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the others hanging around Mike's Suburban, looking in my direction. I was holding them up. "Uh, I guess I'd better go. It's been great seeing you, Jake." And I found it a little strange that I actually meant it. That I had met a person and I hadn't wanted to leave. "Yeah, you too, Bella. So promise you'll come up and visit sometime soon?"

I looked up at his earnest face and even though I didn't feel that comfortable with the idea of getting close to anyone, guy or girl, I couldn't refuse him. And I was pretty sure that I liked him more than any guy or girl I'd met before.

"Sure, Jake. As soon as I can." His smile was infectious. I laughed before turning away to the group waiting not-so-patiently at Mike's car.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 – Bad day 

I came to school the next day in an awful mood. I kept having the same strange dream, and woke up every few hours. I struggled to remember what the dream was about, but was unsuccessful. As a result of my repeatedly interrupted night, I had slept late, didn't have enough time for breakfast, and had just pulled into the school parking lot, twenty minutes late for my first lesson, trigonometry. I was in a really bad mood. All I needed now was a detention and my fantastic morning would be complete.

"Twenty minutes late, Miss Swan. Perhaps a detention will make sure this doesn't happen again." I groaned. Fantastic. "What was that?" "Nothing, sir" I said quickly, blushing. "Fine. Take your seat." I hurried to take my seat before I could get another detention. I tried to pay attention to Mr. Varner's lecture, but found my focus slipping; I had already done this work in Phoenix. I jumped when a scrunched up piece of paper skidded across my desk. Checking that the teacher was still occupied with his lecture, I carefully opened the note. Inside was:

Hey Bella. Just writing to ask what you thought about our trip to the beach yesterday. It was pretty fun, huh? Xx Jessica 

Why was Jessica talking to me? I thought she hated my guts yesterday! And why was she asking about what I thought of the beach? Again checking that the coast was clear, I hurriedly scrawled a reply.

Yeah, it was really fun, why do you ask?

Within a few minutes the paper found its way back to my table and I opened it again.

Just wanted to make sure you had a good time. So what were you doing when we went off to the tide pools? 

I was confused. Jessica already knew that I stayed by the fire with Jacob. Why was she asking? It sounded like she just wanted me to talk about Jacob. _Oh. _In the few weeks of knowing her, Jessica had taken every opportunity to talk about other people; who they were seeing, what their home life was like, what their real hair colour was, there was never a quiet second with Jessica. And if she wasn't talking about something she had just found out about someone else, then she was spreading rumours, half of which even _I_ knew were not true. Jessica was asking me about the trip to La Push in the hopes that she would get some juicy gossip about the new girl hooking up with a local, I'd bet my life on it. I was a little hurt though, that the only reason she talked to me was because she wanted gossip. I sighed before I started writing.

Oh nothing much, I just hung out with Jacob. I got my truck from his dad, so he was asking me if it ran OK.

There. She couldn't make an awful rumour out of that, could she?

Cool! So are you going to see him again?

Yeah, I told him I would. But I'll probably just be watching him work on his car.

His car, huh? So he's like, a mechanic? Is he good with his hands?

I read it and shook my head. I could hear Jessica's childish giggle from the other side of the room. She wasn't as subtle as she thought. I wasn't sure how to reply to her comment though, I had the feeling she'd just twist whatever I said.

He's probably going to be a mechanic when he's older.

**So what's he like? Is he nice? Funny? He's definitely cute:) **

Yeah he's really nice.

So. Do you like him?

Did I? No, he was just a friend. A friend I'd only just met. Of course I didn't like him. Did Jessica only think about one thing?

As a friend.

Sure. How much do you like him?

Jessica, he's JUST A FRIEND.

I was annoyed at Jessica now, she wasn't listening to what I said at all.

**Haha, they're always "just a friend"! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about you two going out. I can keep a secret! wink **

As if Jessica could keep a secret! I was so mad, I knew she would tell the whole school some awful rumour by the end of the day. And I wasn't going out with Jacob! We'd met once, for goodness' sake! I picked up my pen and was about to vent my awful morning on Jessica when the paper was yanked out from under my hand.

"Passing notes are we, Miss Swan?" Without even reading it, he crumpled it up and tossed it in the bin. "Another detention, don't you think?" Jessica wasn't even going to get in trouble! I could see her smirking from the back of the classroom. Everyone was looking at me, including Mr. Varner. "Yes, sir. Sorry." I mumbled. The bell went soon after, and I was freed from the lesson.

Government and history passed in a blur, while lunch dragged on. I sat in silence while Jessica fawned over Mike, looking away whenever Jacob or the beach was mentioned. When the bell for the end of lunch went, I left as soon as I could, eager to get away from everyone. I got into biology and sat down on the edge of the seat. The Cullen boy didn't seem to like me, even when he was being polite he would sit on the edge of his, as if he was trying to get as far away from me as he could. I tried to make the ordeal of sitting next to me easier for him and avoided him as much as I could while having to remain on the same desk as him. But he didn't show up. I relaxed in my seat, when after ten minutes, I realised he probably wouldn't come. Mr. Banner entered the room then. He was telling the class about a blood drive that was occurring in Port Angeles, and I started to worry when he pulled out surgical gloves and said he thought it would be a good idea that we know our blood types. When he pulled out a surgical lancet and asked for someone to demonstrate on, I started to panic. And when he pricked Mike's finger and the smell of blood filled the room and my stomach churned, I passed out.

I woke up on the classroom floor with a splitting headache and I felt like I could throw up at any second. I swallowed hard and looked up when I heard Mr. Banners voice. "Bella! Are you alright?" I didn't trust myself to open my mouth. I felt clammy and cold. I shook my head, slowly. "Mike, take her to the nurse, please." When Mike came over to help me up and I saw and smelt the blood on his hand, I felt a fresh wave of nausea engulf me. I concentrated on breathing. In, out. In, out. In, out. Don't throw up. In, out. "Mike, I need to sit down." Mike nodded and lowered me onto the concrete. I leant against a cool damp wall, feeling slightly better now that I was out of that stupid classroom. My headache started to fade. I must have hit my head pretty hard. Mike just stood there, looking at me. "Are you ok, Bella? You don't look so well." I almost laughed. In fact, if I thought I could do it without throwing up, I would have. Instead, I shook my head, again. Stupidest question in the history of the world, Mike. He reached out to put his hand on my back and I groaned. "Keep your hand in your pocket Mike, please." He remembered the blood on his finger and put it back in his pocket. "Sorry."

"Bella!" I looked up and saw the Cullen boy heading my way. Oh no. Didn't he get the message? I didn't want anything to do with him. I wasn't completely sure why, either. I just felt really uncomfortable around him; he was…creepy. "Bella, are you alright? What happened?" Why did he care? "She's fine. She just passed out in biology, that's all, Cullen" Mike sneered at the Cullen boy. "So you can go now."

"No, that's all right, I'll take Bella to the nurse." What?

Mike just started to splutter, and I would have protested if it weren't for the fact that the Cullen boy had just picked me up and I felt sick. Way too sick to protest. I just tried to stay still and not throw up all over him.

"So, you faint at the sight of blood?" He seemed amused by this.

Ordinarily, I would have pointed out that it wasn't the sight, but the smell of blood, like rust and salt, that made me faint, but I didn't feel like volunteering any kind of information about me to him. I kept silent. He entered the nurse's office, and informed the lady that I had passed out during blood typing. The old lady smiled and said "There's always one." She directed him to place me onto one of the cots. I closed my eyes and breathed. Gradually, the sick feeling abated, and I felt a lot better, just tired. I told the nurse this, and requested that I be allowed to go home early. She agreed and wrote me a slip. I was eternally grateful. Next lesson was gym, and there was no way I was doing that right now. I slid off of the cot covered in crinkly paper, and stepped out of the nurse's office.

I hadn't noticed, but the Cullen boy was standing outside. He was sitting on one of the green school benches, lost in thought. Trying to avoid him, I took the long way to the parking lot. While walking, I realised that my fainting had gotten me out of detention. Excellent. Although I'd probably have to catch it up the next day, that didn't matter to me now. I had left the Cullen boy behind and had almost made it to my truck when I got my foot caught in a small hole and fell. I cried out in pain; a large stick had grazed my arm, leaving a long, shallow cut. The blood dripped down sickeningly. I held my breath and looked away. The Cullen boy was standing right in front of me. I cried out in surprise.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Questions 

AN: Ok, so this is my next chapter, sorry, it's shorter than usual. I was bored today so I wrote a bit. I'll have the next chapter up and running in the next few days! YAY! Here you go! Oh yeah, obviously Stephenie Meyer is the greatest person in the universe and owns everything, not me. Anyone else love three days grace? Sorry, getting distracted. 3 danni

I had left the Cullen boy behind and had almost made it to my truck when I got my foot caught in a small hole and fell. I cried out in pain; a large stick had grazed my arm, leaving a long, shallow cut. The blood dripped down sickeningly. I held my breath and looked away. The Cullen boy was standing right in front of me. I cried out in surprise.

I was scared. His face was contorted with some emotion I couldn't comprehend, and his jaw was clenched shut. His whole body was rigid. I froze. He continued to stand there like that, and I sat, frozen, unable to look away. Finally, as if it cost him some great effort he opened his mouth a fraction. "Go home now." His words were sharp, cold. His eyes were pitch black. I nodded, and stumbled to my truck. I jammed the key in the ignition and drove away as fast as I could. I pushed my truck the whole ride home, panicking when it started to groan, and begging it to hold on.

As soon as I pulled into my driveway, I stopped the car and started to cry. What had just happened? I was so scared. A faint noise in the forest near my house made me jump. I knocked my arm on the door. I had forgotten all about the cut. "Owww." I said. _Okay, time to pull yourself together, Bella_. I wiped my eyes and got out of the car. Looking down, I saw that my clothes were covered in blood. _First things first, I need to get cleaned up._ I let myself in the house and dumped my bags at the front entrance. I threw my clothes into the washer, and changed into a T–shirt and my baggy sweats. I sat down at the sink, and, holding my breath again, slowly cleaned the wound, wincing as I wrapped a bandage around it.

When Charlie came home, I was sitting at the table, eating. I had calmed myself down, and had decided that I would not tell anyone about what happened with the Cullen boy today. Since I didn't have much time to prepare dinner, I had gone for good old spaghetti. I served Charlie's dinner and asked him how his day was, hoping that my voice sounded normal.

"Pretty good, Bells. Actually, we had nowhere to be; me and the guys played poker all day. Best day of work I've had in a while." He grinned, then took another mouthful of food. "This is good!"

"Thanks, dad."

"So how was your day?"

"Not so good." Recalling everything that had happened today just made me want to cry. I decided to just tell Charlie about the blood typing incident. He probably would have already heard about it anyway. "I fainted in biology, we were doing blood typing."

Charlie looked surprised, and then concerned. "Are you alright? Do you need to go to the doctors? Lie down?"

I was touched that Charlie seemed to care so much. I smiled. "I'm alright dad, just tired, so I think I'll go to bed as soon as I've cleared up here."

"No that's alright Bells, you go on up to bed now, I'll do this for you." Now I was really touched. Charlie offering to do housework was a big thing.

"Thankyou dad!" I gave him a hug, before heading upstairs. I had a long shower; the hot water and the steam relaxing the knots and aches in my body, and spent a good twenty minutes drying my hair. I put it up into a ponytail and put my pajamas on. I checked my cut. Yep. Still gruesome. Blood. But it did look a little better. I quickly re-bandaged it. Then I brushed my teeth. Going through my nightly ritual helped me to calm down after today, and I soon felt much better, and much more normal. It was easier to forget that such a strange thing had happened when I was safe at home. I went into my room. I turned the lights off and got into bed. I was exhausted, and ready for a long nights sleep.

No such luck. I rolled over to look at my alarm clock. 4:55 am. I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now. I wondered why I woke up so early. _Oh. It was the dream. _I had the same dream as I'd had the night before. And I still couldn't remember what it was about. I tried to recall anything about the dream, but nothing came. I was frustrated. I was losing sleep over this dream and I didn't even know what it was. I knew it was hopeless but I lay back down and attempted to fall asleep again. Nope. I was just laying on my bed. Awake. My thoughts started to wander to my bad day, and the conversation I'd had with Jessica. I'd told her that Jake was my friend, and that he was just a friend, and I'd told myself that I wouldn't allow it to be anything else. I thought about what Jessica had said. That he was nice – she didn't realise how nice he was, he was so friendly, and didn't even mind when I said something stupid, or vagued out, and he was good to talk to. Conversation with him was nice. He was definitely nice. And she'd said he was funny. That was true too. Jake made lots of jokes, and he laughed all the time, and he could make me laugh, and he was always smiling, and he was easy to talk to. And she'd said that he was 'cute'. Jacob had beautiful eyes, and hair, and his skin was the most amazing colour, and yes, I supposed he was 'cute'. Although, I didn't think that was the term I'd use. But just because I saw these things in him, did that mean I liked him? I mean I definitely liked him. But was I attracted to him? Did I want to go out with him, or be his girlfriend, or anything like that? I couldn't. I wouldn't let myself. But, if I liked him, would I be able to help it? And so what if I liked him? How would I tell if I liked him as a friend apart from…other likings? What was I going to do? I had promised him I'd come up to see him, and I should keep my word. And there was no doubt that I liked hanging out with Jacob. But did I like him?


End file.
